Member-only story
Have you ever caught yourself wondering this?
I know I have — far more times than I’d like to admit.
I grew up believing that being kind was the golden rule to live by.
Say yes, help out, stay agreeable, and life would reward me for it.
At least, that’s what I thought.
But life doesn’t always work that way.
What actually happened was that people mistook my niceness as permission to push boundaries.
My willingness to help was treated like a blank check for endless favours. And my silence in arguments? That wasn’t seen as maturity — it was perceived as weakness.
It was exhausting, always putting others first and trying to avoid conflict at all costs.
If someone needed help, I was there. If plans were inconvenient, I’d rearrange my schedule.
And when someone’s words hurt me, I swallowed my feelings rather than speak up.
Eventually, I started asking myself: Why do I feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness while mine gets neglected?
That’s when I realised something crucial: Being nice isn’t the problem. The problem is forgetting to be nice to myself. Boundaries aren’t a betrayal of kindness — they’re an essential part of it.
